Just Keep Moving

I spent the weekend in Greenville with friends, which was really refreshing. I'm still struggling with depression-related awfulness, but the trip helped get me out of my head to refocus on what I need to do in order to get through this.

We did some really fun and energetic ritual work, and despite my feeling really scattered and unfocused, it helped in a big way. Laughter has been fairly rare these days, so getting a good gleeful cackle was wonderful. I also picked up some orange calcite and moss agate to help with things, along with a smokey quartz mala for my meditation practice. Slow and steady, slow and steady...

  

#10kbefore10am

I'm also back on the workout horse, as it were. I didn't want to -- it was so cold this morning and I just wanted to stay in bed -- but I'm happy I did. I kept my heart rate in the peak range for 40 minutes to get that sweet, sweet runner's high and my body didn't disappoint.

Things have been good with the SAM-e. Nothing huge to report, but I've felt a lot less hopeless and less fatigued. I'm not frolicking through the halls, but I'm able to get out of bed in the morning and that's nothing to sneeze at.

I'm still here and working through things. I'm going to go walk in the (cold) sunshine at lunch and run through my breathing exercises. I'm going to do my very best to accept the turning of the year by honoring and letting go of this fear and panic as the weather gets colder. It's hard, but I can do this.