Ideally.
Unfortunately, the unique situation facing pagans is the blend of 1.) having to defend your practice (whether it has roots in religion or otherwise) as being legitimate in the public sphere while also 2.) avoiding discrimination (or worse) for having those beliefs in the first place. It creates a space wherein some people may succumb to the urge to posit their own tradition/practice as more valid than others with the pagan sphere itself, leading to infighting. This can best be seen in the reviews for almost any popular pagan book on Goodreads.
What makes this worse is that a lot of people beginning a pagan practice have likely already had to have conversations with loved ones about their new belief system. For many, this experience sets the stage on how they perceive their practice being treated by others, and can understandably make some people defensive and on edge. There's a sense that they have something to prove, or that people will automatically make assumptions about their status as a newcomer to the faith. Worse, there are some pagans who really love a power dynamic and are quick to push down or diminish newcomers in some way and it's honestly really awful.
I've been practicing for 20 years -- well, almost 20: August marks the 20th anniversary of my first dedication ritual that I, as a very serious 13 year old, painstakingly researched and arranged, fretting over altar arrangement and candle color, worrying that my incense wouldn't please my gods or that I'd be rejected in some way. Time tends to help with the tense worry that you're doing something wrong, and it's in the best interest of everyone for older/experienced pagans to remember what it was like to be new to the craft. Even for ceremonial magicians who have stringent initiation structures, it's unacceptable to treat people who are new to the craft like they're unwanted or that their ideas and thoughts aren't meaningful in some way.
I get it. I really, really do. I know how frustrating it can be to have a new-to-the-craft person declare themselves "really, really good with fire" and screw up your fire pit at a gathering (or worse). I know it's stressful to have to wrangle people who have rolled up to your long-standing circle to declare themselves the high priest/ess of the moon who is deserving of your collective adoration. I understand -- I really do. But these are people who are looking for something, people who are working through the birthing pains of their practice and are trying to establish footing. For many, they expect that coming to the pagan side of the fence will somehow provide them everything they feel their life has been lacking: esteem, prestige, power, community, instant life-long friends, etc. There's going to be some difficulty in coming to terms with the fact that the problems that exist outside the circle are likely going to be present inside, too. Personal growth is hard, and for those who don't have a comprehensive understanding of the tradition/practice they're joining, there may be assumptions that personal growth is for chumps and that this new thing is going to fix EVERYTHING.
I know the urge to ignore this kind of person is hard. Honestly, I've done it. I've rolled my eyes and walked away, not wanting to expend the energy to deal with Valstath, Dragon Warlock of the Third Gate, who came to a midsummer gathering in a heavy wool cloak and was sweating his eyeliner off. I know how difficult it can be to expend the energy welcoming someone who seems to be there to present themselves to everyone as a Significant Being within the community when everyone else just wants to hang out and enjoy the company of fellow pagans.
What I'm asking is this: instead of pushing them away, understand that we were all new once. Even if you were born into a pagan family, you've been new to something and experienced that sense of insecurity (maybe even fear) when walking into a group of experienced practitioners. I'm not saying we were all StarfireMoondust, High Priestess and Sage of the Mer-Unicorn Realm, but we were new (and hey, maybe StarfireMoondust has something to contribute! You won't know until you listen). Try welcoming them in, give them a place to sit, and show them that this is a safe place. Maybe they'll find that your practice doesn't suit them or their needs, but rejecting them out of hand isn't helping them or anyone else.
Of course, always be mindful of your safety and the comfort of your group. If someone is harmful or unsafe to your circle and makes demands of celebrants, you are under no obligation to host them. There's a vast difference between someone who is genuinely dangerous (pagan or otherwise) to those around them and someone who expresses their tradition in an unconventional way.
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